are you so shy because you have an std?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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