STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
