Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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