dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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