I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
