I can't breathe out the right side of my face
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
two words: eviction party
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
