They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
