Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Boobs are out for the taking
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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