im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
