sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
