She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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