I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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