I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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