Pappa wants mamma naked
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
