All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
