The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
