The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
