May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
