Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
