I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize