Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
