I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
