No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
