There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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