Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
