Rock
Scissors
Fuck
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
