We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
