careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
