i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
