Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
