i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
