brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize