Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
