the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
