You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
