Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
