My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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