Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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