I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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