I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Enjoy the penises
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
