just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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