Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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