she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize
