I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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