Sry I called you an 8
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
