i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
