Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
This baby is an asshole
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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