ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
