is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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