if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize