Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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