There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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