So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You ate ashes out of my bong
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
