She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
