I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
