Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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